Are you driven by Emotion? Or Character?

Earlier, I shared this statement from Dick Biggs:

The greatest gap in life is the one between knowing and doing.

Life would certainly be easier – and success more simple – if all it took to achieve was to KNOW the right things and DECIDE to do them, right? But I think it’s more accurate to say that a decision is just one bookend of achievement. The other is discipline. Decisions can only help us start. Discipline helps us finish.

That’s where character comes in. Emotion might drive us to make a decision. But character is what keeps us going, even when it gets hard.

In Developing the Leader Within You, I wrote about some differences between character-driven and emotion-driven people:

Character-driven people…

1. Do right, then feel good.
2. Are commitment driven.
3. Make principle-based decisions.
4. Let action control attitude.
5. Believe it, then see it.
6. Create momentum.
7. Ask, “What are my responsibilities?
8. Continue when problems arise.
9. Are steady.
10. Are leaders.

Emotion-driven people…

1. Feel good, then do right.
2. Are convenience-driven.
3. Make popular decisions.
4. Let attitude control action.
5. See it, then believe it.
6. Wait for momentum.
7. Ask, “What are my rights?”
8. Quit when problems arise.
9. Are moody.
10. Are followers.

The late Louis L’Amour is one of the best-selling authors of all time, with over 300 million copies of his popular western novels and short-story collections sold. When asked the key to his prolific writing, he responded, “Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.”

Which comes first? Position or preparation? - John Maxwell

When I meet people in social settings and they ask me what I do for a living, some of them are intrigued when I say I write books and speak. And they often ask what I write about. When I say leadership, the response that makes me chuckle most goes something like this: “Oh. Well, when I become a leader, I’ll read some of your books.” What I don’t say (but want to) is: “If you’d read some of my books, maybe you’d become a leader.”

Good leadership is learned in the trenches. Leading as well as they can wherever they are is what prepares leaders for more and greater responsibility. Becoming a good leader is a lifelong learning process. If you don’t try out your leadership skills and decision-making process when the stakes are small and the risks are low, you’re likely to get into trouble at higher levels when the cost of mistakes is high, the impact is far reaching, and the exposure is greater. Mistakes made on a small scale can be easily overcome. Mistakes made when you’re at the top can cost the organization greatly, and they damage a leader’s credibility.

How do you become the person you desire to be? You start now to adopt the thinking, learn the skills, and develop the habits of the person you wish to be. It’s a mistake to daydream about “one day” when you’ll be on top, instead of handling today so that it prepares you for tomorrow. As Hall of Fame basketball coach John Wooden said, “When opportunity comes it’s too late to prepare.” If you want to be a successful leader, learn to lead BEFORE you have a leadership position.

The Urgency to be fed and to feed

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I often ask God why the pastors that I really wanted to invest into my life never really did. Well, he answered it all right! For one, I never took the time to connect with all of them, so they didn't know me that well or at all! Reason number two, I received from an amazing message by Erwin McManus. He said it very simply, Paul says to Timothy in 2 Tim 2:2, "You have often heard me teach. Now take this teaching and give it to followers who will be faithful to tell others" (paraphrased). I wanted pastors and people that I looked up to in ministry to invest into my life, but how much did I sow into others? How faithful was I to share with others? Did I look like I was "investment worthy" with the way I invested? Probably not... However, it made me shut up, stop complaining and grumbling and aim towards becoming someone who gave and sowed into the lives of those that are in need and those who would like me to invest into their lives. God is faithful to his word and I find people, through not-so traditional methods of investing, investing into my life in some very fascinating and enriching ways!
My urgency to be fed, led me to feed faithfully first! My first words for this season are Faithful and Dependable (i.e., God finds me faithful and dependable with His mission, work and agenda). After all, we are all about our Father's business aren't we?

Should I keep this memory?

No one has heard this side of my story yet. A lot of different things in my life have taught me different things. But this one had not brought itself out till lately. It's not like it was on the priority list even for me till I kept encountering it. You might be waiting to know what this is. Asking the question, "Is it a family issue," "is it an insecurity?",... To be honest, when I tell you some of you might want to gag, burst out laughing and seeing it from someone else's perspective does make this thing look a lot sillier than it really is. It is a door. This door, for a whole lot of my life had grabbed the power to control how something would turn out. Would this door protect me? Would it stand and defend me? Would it thrash onto the floor and let me face life alone? It had a choice to make, but only according to who was standing on the other side of it!
You see, like me, it was powerless as well. It couldn't defend me or protect me or hide me from the world for a while as I took a moment to breathe.
It was a lifeless piece of plastic that had come to be a part of my life.
So today I ask the question, this door still stands, some adjustments made to it, but still stands, should I keep the memory of all that has happened, and what could potentially have been prevented, if I had a different door, a door with character and strength and power to protect me when I needed it most?
All I want to do sometimes is to hit and break this door for all the painful memories. But it had been brought to my life based on a financial and easier decision than custom making a door. But also because this door taught life lessons that other doors or things wouldn't have.
This door reminded me to be cautious, to not be naive, to be confident but humble, to stay in the presence of Jesus, to not alienate myself and to trust people one by one.
I think the pro's have a greater effect or me than the cons'. So should I keep the memory that makes me more powerful, authentic and reachable today or forget one that made me shake, cry and long for something more or different?
A lot of the times I have to write about a painful incident. I have to let out the words of frustration and hurt, to move past my indecisiveness. And this revelation just helps me rest in the decision that even when I am weak and am going through a hardship, then in fact, I am strong cause I am in Him.
It reminded me of Paul, this is what he wrote;


2 Corinthians 12:7-10


"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."


If my memory can be related to the thorn Paul had to live with and my victory allows me to boast in the One who stands taller and stronger than a door, should I keep the memory that will keep me humble, relatable and strong? 

When the crowd drives you up the wall- Challenge or Opportunity Part 5

Recently a friend of mine showed me this video that she was going to show in the class she was teaching. I think it will help to watch this so I can get to what i am trying to say.



Sometimes when they tell you to venture out to see something new, it may just be the thing you are looking for, craving for or something that you turn out to like or love.
While this stands, a lot of the times there will be a crowd and you often find this with close or large families or people that are nosy in general and haven't accomplished much themselves. They find it approved or very necessary to tell you something about you that is very wrong in their perspective or that whatever you are doing is not going to work, that they have lived longer and know better than us.
I want to encourage you to not worry about those people. They have worthless countless words that have no value if you don't allow it. I know for me I am doing something that is very different, out of the box and there is no position title to it. As an Indian girl born in Dubai, I am pretty much asked to live the life that any Indian girl would be asked to live. Even as a youngee (youngster) I knew I was searching and looking for something different, wanting to live differently and achieve something that was out of the ordinary. I am still on a path of achieving something that has not been thought of before on my side of the world.
So when the crowd tries to drive you up the wall, stand for what you believe in. Let people's comment and opinions be only that and nothing more. The voices will dim down and you will get to where your heart has longed to get.
At the same time, you achieving anything cannot be about taking revenge or showing those that have hurt you or those that not supported you in your decisions that you got there. According to Philip Baker's book, "Decisions of Daring Acheivers", a research shows that ten percent will disagree with you on any decision you make.
What you heart is burning to do and achieve, do it because that is the call on your life and that God has helped you get there. All the negative people and the obstacles along the way helped you stand even more for what you believe in, than get agitated and get lost in translation.
In your present situation, if there is a crowd driving you up the wall with every small decision that you make, remember to make them stepping stones to your step forward, allow them to say their words, consider what you think you need to consider and let the rest go and walk on with confidence and joy in your heart.
Last thing I want to say, be ready to do the work. Otherwise, its a dream unachievable!

When the crowd drives you up the wall, whatcha gonna do?

PS. try some hot Kool aid! :P

When your ground is no more... Challenge or Opportunity? Part 4

"Your house is up for sale!" said the email. I read through the email again, as though in shock. My eyes now scrutinizing every word written, as though they were charging at me with a sword. It didn't occur to me till ten minutes later that, that message was for me. But the words didn't pierce me. They just floated around in the air till they were no more. They hoped to make me feel homeless again. They hoped to place another burden on me. They hoped to poke me till it hurt me in my core. 
And those words had once captured me. But this time... 
Even before the problem was presented to me, the solution was given to me. 
When the ground you stand upon and live upon is going to be no more, what are you going to do? How are you going to react? What are your next moves? 
I will always believe in being pro-active then lazily sitting in the room that will soon not be yours anymore. 
Your eyes twitch in tension, your toes started dancing unrhythmical. You look up from the computer, keenly and desperately trying to find a solution. Other than that your face remains calm, your body still and your heart finds focus. 
And then He said, "When your ground is no more, when your security in this world is no more, when your success isn't found here, your testimony stands completely heavenly, full of grace, full of love. When your ground is no more, you stand". 
If Jesus makes something beautiful from nothing and was able to make us from sand... when my ground is no more, His presence is my home. 
Yes, they say you can't live on love alone. It is true, but with His love came wisdom and strength to move forward till you reach your true destination.
Fear is not your companion. Worry is not your blanket. Tears are not your portion. 
When you believe you have better, bigger things waiting to be discovered... you know that Jesus is your prize. His word is your food. His victory is your portion.
When your ground is no more... when you have lost your ground more than once... you know that you will gain back what is yours! 
My house situation is my opportunity to show off the true foundation I stand on. The faith that pushes me forward and the Love that stands beside me in everything. That is a true and beautiful opportunity!

The smallest person in the room- Challenge or Opportunity? Part 3

Picked out the hottest dress in your closest? Or got a new hairdo? Lost 2 kilos and feel like a million bucks? Next thing you know, both doors to the room fling open, there's smoke machines on either sides... and you catwalk down that little alley strip, hoping everyone is turning towards you and staring in awe and amazement? Picturing it yet? Good.
All right now imagine all three situations, but there are no smoke machines this time, you fling the door open yourself, you catwalk down that alley strip and your foot trips over the other... this time everyone is staring but it's not in awe... that, with a little less exaggeration would be me! I may even laugh a little loud at something that isn't funny so that people think that I am having fun or have potential to be a cool person in their mind. If you are honest enough, you would admit to being silly like this, sometimes. Okay, well maybe its just me!
You see in both situations people have already stereotyped you and put in a box. But more than them, you, have stereotyped yourself and put yourself in a box and are desperately trying to get out of it. Or maybe you love being there just a tad too much!
Here's a reality check, most of us place ourselves in the wrong box. 
For me, my mental, very untrue, stereotype is that I am the smallest person in the room. In the past, this has been my biggest challenge ever. I would be part of a conversation and not say a word. I would be part of a brain storming meeting and never contribute any of my ideas, cause I am, well, the smallest person at the meeting!
I know that a lot of my past experiences, cruel comments and even my culture and upbringing took a part of me grading myself this way. 
 I even made some logical explanations to my actions. I was in fact the youngest person in this room. I maybe the least educated, the least experienced, I have been broken too many times to find any self-confidence somewhere in there, no one really took me under their wing and taught me or helped me to cross sides. It seems so, that these were all but mere excuses not to break out of my shell. I am shy, I am timid, I am insecure, I am not that kind of a leader, blah blah blah! 
But I imagined, dreamed, procrastinated and hoped the opposite all the time! 
You may have heard the saying fake it, till you make it! 
You don't feel like a leader? You don't know if you can finish what has been given to you? You don't think you have anything to contribute that is worthy of mentioning or being heard? 
Well fake it till it all makes sense!
Heck, put on those pair of boots till your shoulders are straight and your head is held high! Research, prepare, rehearse till it makes sense in your head before you present it at a meeting! 
You may fall a few times but trust me, have a go again and again! Don't give up! 
I also realized that God created something strong out of my weakness. 
It caused me to be a really good listener. To catch someone's vision or dream and present it well. To slowly praying in public, and commenting when i was sure of something, even blogging and tagging people so they can read this!
If you feel like you are the smallest person in the room, you are there because you can and need to conquer it. By conquer, I don't mean pick up a sword, the war is on! I mean, take a step back, read yourself. Find the negatives and positives and start working on them.
There are three things I have found key to conquering this:
First of all, Humility! God has had to do some major cleaning up to be able to make space for this department. And let Him!
Next, Discipline! Create some routines in your time frame that will help shape what you are hoping to change about yourself.
And finally, Perseverance... Our generation is probably one of the most laziest group of people I have ever met. Including myself! We quit when we are a step away from reaching our goal. Even if you fall down, fail, don't impress your boss, persevere to making your challenge, your opportunity to building and creating something new, fresh and anointed!


Here's a final tip: Don't let anyone steal your joy when you do get there! 
You are the smallest person in the room, where are your pendulum controls taking you?

A Sweet Spirit-Challenge or Opportunity?

A few days ago, I was taking the bus to the mall. If you have been in Sydney, you would know what I meant by getting to the bus stop 30 minutes before its scheduled time and sit there praying it show up!
Anyhow, I was in a normal mood... no dramas! Just chilled, relaxing (PRAYING FOR MY BUS) and listening to some music.
As I sat there, a car came and stopped close to the stop. At first, I thought the lady in the car was lost since she was calling someone and looking at a book. And then, she switched her indicators on and decided to settle. She did her make up and kept fixing her hair in the mirror. I then determined that there was something wrong with her car. All right then, she is waiting for NRMA (roadside assistance) to show. But 45 minutes later, there were some angry drivers on the road, honking and rolling their windows down, screaming and swearing. She seemed a little freaked out and not so happy.
All that time (while still praying for my late bus to show), I was thinking I should go ask her if she needs a proper parking spot, she was seconds from churches'. But I was thinking about how she would react to my action.
 I don't know... anyway I told God this... "if my bus doesn't come in the next two minutes I will walk up to her." My bus showed up in that two minutes which i was happy about and also a little confused about whether I should I have walked up to her anyway!
 But as I stood up and waved at my bus... she thought I was waving at her, so smiled and gave me an asian head bow. We smiled eye to eye till I got on the bus.
But I didn't walk up to her? Offer her help? Should I still feel confused?
You see sometimes people don't need help. They have help on the way. They just need some assurance that the whole world won't try to take them out while they waited on help.
I wonder how many times, we plug our earphones into our ears, trying to cut off the noise of the world, on our way somewhere, but in fact all the world wanted was some assurance of our acceptance, our kindness, our gentleness, our sweet spirit to help them go on or move forward.
I wonder if I had created an opportunity to show Jesus to that lady. I don't know, maybe I have sown a seed! Either way, she found what is best about Jesus, His Kindness.
As winter dawn on us, and we wear a million pairs of socks to keep us warm, lets remember to keep our spirits sweet as well.
In a time when people are tired, losing focus, wandering in desperation and feeling low; a sweet spirit can make a world's difference.
Like any other thing, having a sweet spirit is a journey and involves two repetitive attributes.

The first one is like your pizza base. With no base, there is no pizza. Alright?
- Going back to the presence  of God! When I first started spending time with God, I usually came out really worked up and vulnerable cause He was working with me, in me, creating within me newness. Overtime, you will see that you come out feeling the healing, joy overflowing and confidence taking its stance. When you get there, you will see the sweet spirit of Jesus in you, wanting to pump someone's day or speak love and joy over them.
The next thing, is the actual stuff that goes on the pizza base like the tomatoes, cheese, chicken or even for you BBQ meat lovers... this will make it a full, well done, yummy (even gourmet) pizza.
- Letting Go!
On this journey, you will come across mean or rude or unhappy people in general. Most of the time, their comments can leave you feeling a little down. This can come in any shape or form because the devil knows how to push your buttons and trust me on this journey, he will be waiting to do so.
Here's my advice: Don't hold those comments, remarks, experiences close, rather let them go, release them and release yourself. There's nothing more freeing in not holding what you need not hold onto!

Try this. Go on a journey of entering His presence all the time and letting go whenever and wherever needed!
Over time, you will see yourself become kind to the meanest person in the room! I think that is a pretty cool picture!

So, where are your pendulum controls taking you?

Challenge or Opportunity? Part 1

A lot of us get frustrated at life sometimes... alright a lot of the time! Its like being on a pendulum at the fair that moves so fast, back and forth! We feel like throwing up, we want to quit, run away, leave, abandon, even give up our life cause of the craziness of it all. We feel weak, tired, unmotivated and can't seem to find the purpose of this life of earth. You might even ask, "what good could I possibly bring to this crapy, filthy dump where everyone betrays and hurts each other?" I would not be surprised if you did, cause I asked that question myself a few times.
It was in the darkest and loneliest of my seasons when I asked that question. When I would look myself in the mirror and hate what i saw. When my favorite food or drink or movie or music or place couldn't satisfy me. They were all bland, plain and tasteless to the core.
What on the face of this planet could help me? Revive me? Put a smile on my face and some peace in my heart, so I could get a few hours of restful sleep?
I tried everything in my boundaries and a few beyond them to try and find something.
It came to this one answer every time as I read between the lines of my actions and behavior.  To be loved!
All of the crisis in the world, all the misfortune, all the disaster, all the pain and hurt, they would all diminish, even if slowly,when you are loved. That is a big fat FACT!
So did that mean I had to love myself ? Yes and no!
I mean, trust me I tried with all my heart to see myself differently when I looked in the mirror. I praised myself when I succeeded in something. I told myself I could do it. I can finish this assignment or feel happy when I wanted to. And you can!
But there is one key ingredient. One incalculable, immeasurable, irreplaceable, incomparable, unparalleled, priceless ingredient!
Jesus. His love.
Some of you may go, yeah well I know Jesus, or yes I am saved but whatever or I tried him before and nothing happened.
You can't try Jesus one day and be done with. You have to go on a journey with him.
If you go on a diet, you can't exercise or have diet pills for one day or a week, you have to go on a journey of a new lifestyle of eating and exercising.
I have never heard of one true and honest person who has gone on a journey with Jesus and not felt better or made a 360 change about everything in his or her life.
When a challenge or circumstance is in your way and you've tried everything in "your" rule book and it's going nowhere; give Jesus a chance. Go on a journey with him. If you are on one, but feel like giving up, let me just encourage you don't give up. Finish what you started!

In the beginning of this post I spoke about a pendulum. At the fair, the controls of the pendulum are in the hands of another man. But in life you have authority and power over your pendulum, no doubt everyone has a pendulum in their lives. Question is, what would you do with the controls?

The Choice by Max Lucado

He placed one scoop of clay upon another until a form lay lifeless on the ground.

All of the Garden’s inhabitants paused to witness the event. Hawks hovered. Giraffes stretched. Trees bowed. Butterflies paused on petals and watched.

“You will love me, nature,” God said. “I made you that way. You will obey me, universe. For you were designed to do so. You will reflect my glory, skies, for that is how you were created. But this one will be like me. This one will be able to choose.”

All were silent as the Creator reached into himself and removed something yet unseen. A seed. “It’s called ‘choice.’ The seed of choice.”

Creation stood in silence and gazed upon the lifeless form.

An angel spoke, “But what if he … ”


“What if he chooses not to love?” the Creator finished. “Come, I will show you.”


Unbound by today, God and the angel walked into the realm of tomorrow.

“There, see the fruit of the seed of choice, both the sweet and the bitter.”

The angel gasped at what he saw. Spontaneous love. Voluntary devotion. Chosen tenderness. Never had he seen anything like these. He felt the love of the Adams. He heard the joy of Eve and her daughters. He saw the food and the burdens shared. He absorbed the kindness and marveled at the warmth.

“Heaven has never seen such beauty, my Lord. Truly, this is your greatest creation.”

“Ah, but you’ve only seen the sweet. Now witness the bitter.”

A stench enveloped the pair. The angel turned in horror and proclaimed, “What is it?”

The Creator spoke only one word: “Selfishness.”

The angel stood speechless as they passed through centuries of repugnance. Never had he seen such filth. Rotten hearts. Ruptured promises. Forgotten loyalties. Children of the creation wandering blindly in lonely labyrinths.

“This is the result of choice?” the angel asked.
“Yes.”
“They will forget you?”
“Yes.”
“They will reject you?”
“Yes.”
“They will never come back?”
“Some will. Most won’t.”
“What will it take to make them listen?”

The Creator walked on in time, further and further into the future, until he stood by a tree. A tree that would be fashioned into a cradle. Even then he could smell the hay that would surround him.

With another step into the future, he paused before another tree. It stood alone, a stubborn ruler of a bald hill. The trunk was thick, and the wood was strong. Soon it would be cut. Soon it would be trimmed. Soon it would be mounted on the stony brow of another hill. And soon he would be hung on it.


He felt the wood rub against a back he did not yet wear.

“Will you go down there?” the angel asked.

“I will.”

“Is there no other way?”

“There is not.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to not plant the seed? Wouldn’t it be easier to not give the choice?”

“It would,” the Creator spoke slowly. “But to remove the choice is to remove the love.”

He looked around the hill and foresaw a scene. Three figures hung on three crosses. Arms spread. Heads fallen forward. They moaned with the wind.

Men clad in soldiers’ garb sat on the ground near the trio. They played games in the dirt and laughed.

Men clad in religion stood off to one side. They smiled. Arrogant, cocky. They had protected God, they thought, by killing this false one.

Women clad in sorrow huddled at the foot of the hill. Speechless. Faces tear streaked. Eyes downward. One put her arm around another and tried to lead her away. She wouldn’t leave. “I will stay,” she said softly. “I will stay.”

All heaven stood to fight. All nature rose to rescue. All eternity poised to protect. But the Creator gave no command.

“It must be done … ,” he said, and withdrew.

But as he stepped back in time, he heard the cry that he would someday scream: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34) He wrenched at tomorrow’s agony.

The angel spoke again. “It would be less painful … ”

The Creator interrupted softly. “But it wouldn’t be love.”

They stepped into the Garden again. The Maker looked earnestly at the clay creation. A monsoon of love swelled up within him. He had died for the creation before he had made him. God’s form bent over the sculptured face and breathed. Dust stirred on the lips of the new one. The chest rose, cracking the red mud. The cheeks fleshened. A finger moved. And an eye opened.

But more incredible than the moving of the flesh was the stirring of the spirit. Those who could see the unseen gasped.

Perhaps it was the wind who said it first. Perhaps what the star saw that moment is what has made it blink ever since. Maybe it was left to an angel to whisper it:

“It looks like … it appears so much like … it is him!”

The angel wasn’t speaking of the face, the features, or the body. He was looking inside—at the soul.

“It’s eternal!” gasped another.

Within the man, God had placed a divine seed. A seed of his self. The God of might had created earth’s mightiest. The Creator had created, not a creature, but another creator. And the One who had chosen to love had created one who could love in return.

Now it’s our choice.

From In the Eye of the Storm
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 1997) Max Lucado