Security in Familiarity...

I opened an old box of jewelry... stuff I promised myself I would never wear again!:)
But as I opened it... I smelled home.
Familiarity can do that. Your senses like smell, taste, even seeing something reminds you of a good time. Something that made you happy... like maybe your mum's hug or her smell or time with your mates or cousins. Times when you rode your tiny bicycle up and down the corridor of your apartment; Your first pet; Your first sleepover; Your first best friend; Your first barbie or your first action man (for the boys). Things that made you laugh or/and cry like your first crush, your classic April Fool's moment; tickle attacks.
And unfortunately sometimes things that hurt you once. Things that caused your heart to break; your life to feel empty; your body numb; and the sense of worthlessness and that you wouldn't bring happiness to anyone or love anyone or help anyone.
That was me a few years ago. My heart was broken. I felt so destroyed and so massively disappointed in myself. I felt I was a failure and would never accomplish anything.
As I looked into the box, I found a post-it note. It had someone's email and some random math. But on the back, in my hand writing it said, "You are Talented".
There was a period in my life when the devil knew he could say anything and I would believe it.
Those moments did hurt. But God spoke to me. In reassuring ways, He presented the truth to me. He told me who I was. And He reminded me through smell; through old post-it notes that He was still there. The One that brought life, love, security, freedom and much much more was still there and would always be there.
There is the concept that is taught of not letting familiarity cease you from worshipping. And sometimes you can get tired of that song they sing every day of the week for the next ten months in church. I find a lot of comfort in those songs that brought me to my knees in worship. Those lyrics that made me raise my hands in awe. That music that allowed my soul and my mind to join in unity with my spirit. I found my security in Him. It was the familiarity that allowed me to engage. His storm calming peace. His heart melting love. His concept of taking my burden. His words of truth that declare me righteous. His healing palm. His overflowing lap of love.
I have become familiar to that presence. To the healing presence of my Dad...
I could be, would be anyone and achieve anything there. I fit perfectly with Him.
Don't allow that familiarity to cease your worship. Instead let it flow more bountifully.

The caution sign.

"Caution: Do not cover" said my new twenty dollar fan heater. It is probably the best twenty dollars I have spent. I switched it on and got comfortable in my bed. My plan was to leave it running for ten minutes, switch it off and then go to sleep.
But the warmth was so incredible, in five minutes I probably looked like a blob in my bed. I woke up the next morning sweating. What scared me  was that my quilt had managed to get on top of the heater (I had placed it too close to my bed, so that my hand could reach it without me having to jump out of bed to turn it off). Within a second, i freaked and pulled the quilt off the heater cause I was reminded of what the caution sign had expressed.
Recently I pondered on this incident and felt God speaking to me through it....

Some of my friends prayed over me the other day and said "Sharon, God is waiting for you to jump. Don't you trust Him?" Honestly, I don't think I do. I want to, but it freaks me out. What if I get hurt again? And this time it would be God that hurt me, who would then mend my broken heart? I was tired of the excuses of life, family and friends. I didn't want to give 'all of me' to anyone cause then I was assured that I wouldn't be hurt. I would be okay. Just okay!
How annoying is that I would just be okay? What a mediocre way of living! I would never experience fully what God had planned for me. As I only gave a little part of me, I would only receive a little back.
It's like choosing a delicious slice of cheesecake at your favorite cafe. You would only get a little piece instead of a whole slice cause you chose not to pay the full price so as to receive that big delicious creamy slice of cheesecake. In all reality, you would get nothing. Feel like you're missing out? That is exactly what I had been doing to my relationships especially the one with God.
God then spoke to me and said I had placed that caution sign on myself. I didn't mind the few seconds of warmth but I was scared to go all in for God and spread the fire in me. The book of revelations was pretty clear when it said God couldn't be bothered by those that had warm faith. In other words, He said chose Me or this world. I rather you had an opinion, whether right or wrong than not have one at all. This indicated a state of confusion which is not from God and I couldn't represent Him with that character in me.

How much more can He give. He gave everything and we still ask for more?

It's time we took the caution sign off ourselves and said "Here I am, set me on fire for you and send me"

Questions I would then have to answer:

Do I let  the caution sign remain?

Do I want the whole slice of cheesecake?
Do I choose a few useless seconds of warmth in my relationship with God or go all in for Him?
Do i choose life to its max. or a mediocre "okay" life?

What do you choose?

You are by Tenth Avenue North

Lord of empty space
You breathe and then create
Before the earth was made
You are

The King of every age
Outside of time and space
The heavens speak Your name
You are

Lord of brilliant light
You separate the night
And everything inside
You are

The One who calms the seas
And every part of me
With just a word You speak
You are

I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart

Angels bowing down
Beneath the rushing sound
A voice that thunders out
You are

The one who holds the stars
And the beating of my heart
Exalted above all
You are

All I am I want to lay down at Your feet

"Unbreakable"- Fireflight

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight
Can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

In His Presence:Part 4 (Ps 112): Generous Hearts

As you read Ps 112 a few times you will realize that it mentions gracious hearts and generosity all through out. I believe that the more time you spend in His presence, the more active you will be with your faith. If you aren’t active, then you have to think about it.
When He is inside you, He will live through you. The Holy Spirit is waiting to do amazing things through you. In His presence, you are brought to what His will is for you and what you can do for His people. God is about people like He is about you. So don’t think that it was or is only about you. Get out of that mindset and set your eyes on His will.
Ps 112,Vs 4 “Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.”
Even in circumstances, His light will shine through. There will be answers and solutions even when no one is standing by you. For those who are gracious, compassionate and righteous. Give, give with all your heart, Give from your heart. Don’t let anyone talk you in or out of giving. You need your own conviction about giving. And giving is about money, time, attention, prayer, love, hugs. These are few most important things people forget or don’t want to give anymore and it is the very thing that is causing a lot of the issues, confusion and so on in society.
I have seen the fruit of my giving and I have personally had a fight in myself about what I need to give and where I need to give and in what form I need to give. And continuously I would hear the Holy Spirit “be open to my counsel, be open to what I have to say and be obedient to what I ask you to do and you will see the fruit.” I have seen so many different blessings, in so many different shapes and forms. He will come through. He will bless. You just need to blindly trust!
“Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely”...blessings lie ahead of you for being obedient to Him and not giving because it will get you noticed or because you name is on that envelope or card. Lend freely. Encourage people, put a bible in someone’s hand, put a good worship CD in the hands of a teenager, put a laptop in the hands of a struggling student, put flowers in the hands of a widower, put a job in the hands of an unemployed, put meals in the hands of a crying father or a single mother, put a number of childcare and money in the hands of an exhausted parent. Good will come…
“…who conduct their affairs with justice”. I love this line because of how people including myself deal with circumstances. Being here in college has given me opportunities to learn from other people’s experiences and also to be a part of it and understand how to respond to different situations and while being very sensitive to what the Holy Spirit wants me to do and say.
Conduct your affairs, your circumstances, your issues with justice meaning impartiality, fairness, righteousness, evenhandedness, fair dealing, honesty, integrity etc.

Prayer:
Lord, put a fire in our bellies and a river in our mouths cause we are born to praise you and live You to and in this world. Father, bring us back to your presence again and again and again and use us for Your glory alone. Amen.

Can I have more of You?- Kim Walker, Here is my song

Verse 1:
I give up trying to earn Your love,
I just look above, up to You.
My desire is to see Your fire,
Growing even higher than before.

Bridge:
Because You are good, beyond measure,
My heart longs to give You pleasure.
You fulfill all my longing,
And all my life I will sing:

Chorus:
God I love You and all You do,
Your joy lives inside and does me good,
Can I have more of You?
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
Oh, my God, You never let me down,
Can I have more of You?

Verse 2:
God I need You right next to me,
For my heart to be satisfied.
I decide how I live my life,
I've made up my mind, I'm livin' for You.

In His Presence:Part 3 (Ps 112)

Psalms 112:3
“Wealth and riches are in their houses,
and their righteousness endures forever.”

So for all of ya’ll that think this is verse is all about money, you need to see things a little different. Wealth and riches indicate the fractions of culture, character like peace, joy, hope, holiness, purity and a prayerful home etc.
I don’t know if you have ever been to homes that are filled with peace and joy and you go there and you feel better. Your worst day starts to get better. A headache fades away. An argument finds it’s solution. A broken marriage can find restoration. Only a godly home can bring an atmosphere like that and a culture that is in a way healing to the soul. There was this once when I went to my cousin’s house and the little kid was playing and having the time of his life. I had a horrible headache but he wasn’t disturbing me at all cause five minutes of being in that house my headache disappeared. I realized it was the culture and character of the prayerful family that had made that home a healing one.
What sort of character you may ask. As the scripture says their righteousness. The robe of righteousness that He placed upon them. and you can see that through different scriptures like “the prayer of the righteous shall avail much. Me and my family shall serve the Lord. etc”
It takes courage to live the life my uncle and aunt live and you can see that in their beautiful, spirit filled kids. But that is what makes their home full of wealth and riches.
And along the side of money. Yes, God is a provider and he gives to those in need and those that ask. But a completely different answer lies for those that are just plain greedy.

Build character in your homes. Let your children see and become and love all that you as parents are. Fill your home with prayer and ask the Holy spirit to use you and your atmosphere to will uplift, restore and heal. In His presence and through His Holy Spirit, your homes will be filled withe wealth and riches that are available to everyone that comes in.
Spread the wealth and riches!

God's Kingdom culture Part 4:The Gift of discernment:Part 1

God's Kingdom is not filled with weak little kittens. Yes we are cute but not weak! We are soldiers. Vicious beings, lions of the kingdom that are being prepared to tear down walls and stand against the enemy's prowls. I wonder if you remember me talking about being peace makers. Yes, God has called us to be peace makers but He has also called us a Justice generation and we will stand up and fight for the weak, the abused, the mocked at, the hurt because we once were one of them but today are ready to bring upon this land what He has purposed for this land i.e. Justice.
No form or plan of the enemy will prevail. We have been given authority to stand and cast out in the name of Jesus.
When I was a baby in the Lord, I wondered why people talked about being violent in our faith. I was always the peace maker and would never confront anyone. I would simply have a conversation with them and solve the issue through very standard ordinary measures and methods.
Recently we had a situation where my housemates realized that there was the spirit of Jezebel operating in our house. Read 2 Kings 9-12 and study it to understand what the spirit of Jezebel looks like. We think that cause we live in this day and age; spiritual things are very awkward, unnecessary and a little useless to our generation. What we don't realize is that the end is coming and soon. The enemy is trying to fill hell with our kind. the human kind. the ones with souls. There is a constant warfare going on in the spiritual realms and we have to be sensitive to what The Holy Ghost is trying to do so we can bring home as many as possible. The spirit of Jezebel is cunning and manipulative. Lying consistently to your face with the mask of beautiful innocence, makes you look guilty and as the wrong one time and time again. It brings you to a place of depression and wants for you to feel incompetent and completely inadequate so that it can have that power and authority over you so that you will function as it gives orders.
THE BLOOD OF JESUS has covered us and released us from things like this. HIS NAME has healed and restored us to be able to recognize, stand up and fight for Justice because He paid a very painful and horrible price for this. It is now in our turn to receive it and walk in that victory.
It is just like being in court, you have your defense lawyer fighting for your freedom. The verdict is in, you won the case. But you realize that you still feel like you have to defend yourself cause you feel convicted of guilt. Convicted of something you didn't do or the fact that the price has already been paid for but you still are fighting a won battle. You may have walked out of that courtroom but you feel like you don't own your freedom cause in you mind you still feel guilty.
Another example could be about being in a relationship. The guy or girl, makes you feel unworthy, useless and with no value. He/ she gives no time of day for you when you are in a mess and is never around when you really need them. They lie to your face telling you of their lack of time and all the people that are counting on them to hang out with them. They will tell you that they will be there but when it is time and you really just need someone to talk to they won't be around. They will make you feel inadequate and incompetent. Sometimes they will use your conversation or any private feelings you disclosed to them in confidence against you, You feel like you need to now get attention and value from them to feel loved, comforted or for you make a move forward, a step upward in life. They are so smooth with their words, look completely innocent and make the situation look like they are the victim and that they need to held and cuddled when actually they manipulated and twisted the situation around to make you feel like you hurt them and you are completely to blame and is going to be in debt of doing whatever you can to "win" them back.
I know this cause I was in a relationship where I needed the family member to appreciate me and give me my value back. Wrong! no one other than God can give you that value. Cheapskates will always tell you that you are loser and steal you of your joy, love and give you in return misery, depression and so on.
The same thing happened with our housemate where that person lied, manipulated and always made us feel smaller in every situation. But then two people rose and God revealed to them. This person is my friend but the spirit that is operating behind this person is not my friend. That spirit is my enemy and I will not allow that to take over my life, my emotional status and my physical health. No. God's Kingdom is filled with mighty vicious beings who have the spirit of discernment, that can smell the enemy tricks and are armed and ready to fight and bring justice.
Spread the word and get prepared!

In His Presence:Part 2 (Ps 112)

Alright, I’m hoping that this will be a series that can be helpful to all generations.
But I want to talk to the young adults, the ones our previous generations call the “hormonal emo generation”. I, from personal experience know that we waver on whether we want to get married, want to have children, what sort of boys we as girls want and for the guys what you want in girls and have all these questions and doubts.

I made a decision a year ago since I was battling with it myself that I would know in time. There is no point of wasting our time thinking about these things if it is not time. I have met boys and girls that are desperate to find answers or find partners way before their time, get their heart broken a zillion times till they get fed up of what they think is right or who they see as the right person.
At the same time I have met couples that got married when they were 19 or 20 and love each other intimately. What I noticed about them is that they were really mature for their age and knew in their heart they would be fine.
My suggestion is wait and in time just as they knew you will.

God loves a pure heart and from there will come an opportunity to have a pure relationship. For some you get used to the idea of dating, it’s almost like a mundane thing while for others you lose respect for the opposite sex and your way of thinking is damaged because you have walked into relationships way too fast and for the wrong reasons.

In all honesty I love being single. I love that I have time to myself to find identity with God in me than a guy’s arms around me that came because of desperation.

So why does this all matter with this one verse. Today’s culture on dating, relationships and sex is perverted that’s why. I encourage you to find your identity first. It could mean growing up emotionally and spiritually and being complete in Him. For some it may mean something else that I don’t know of.

“Your children will be mighty in the land”. I hope and in a way declare my kids will be warriors for God. They will run the race God has asked them to run. Whether it be through ministry or through a standard office position they will fulfill all that God has in store for them.
I want my kids to be blessed and I want to see the result of my sowing in their lives and their kids lives. My sowing would be to live a life that is pure, holy and upright in the eyes of God. As scripture holds my kids will be blessed from it.

Stop living your life just for yourself and just for today. For the momentary pleasures or the temporary desperation relief that may lead to the birth of a precious child you won't be ready to handle and maybe make decisions not wise or correct. Live your lives for your future, your kids, your grand kids. I know there will be a big blessing in it.

Psalms 112:2 “Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.”

In His Presence:Part 1 (Ps 112)

This might look like a very awkward but fun series and it is probably because I am doing it! I wasn’t really planning on doing a study but while I was reading Psalms 112 I felt extremely blessed and encouraged. I will pick up verses that I found meaning, truth, personal and theological truth in. Hopefully it wont be too long and will be simple enough to understand.
My focus is His presence.

Psalms 112:1 (TNIV version)
Blessed are those who fear the LORD,
who find great delight in his commands.

Blessed are those who not “scared” of God but live in awe of His presence and love Him with all their heart.
Great delight in His commands…people that know and trust God to be there in times of trouble. Those that will not doubt but in crisis hold firm on His covenant of protection. You see on Mount Sinai God made a covenant with His people that He will protect them and they should obey and keep his covenant. In short that is what He said you can look at Exodus 19:3-6 to know what exactly The Wise Man Himself said.

Lets start our day and end our night knowing that God is completely Holy, completely pure, completely God and nothing that comes from His mouth can be false. Let’s trust Him a hundred percent in everything.

In His presence; you will find great joy and comfort. In His presence; you will find truth and revelation that will completely blow you away. In His presence; you will receive love that you can then impart into the world. In His presence; you will find peace that is so beyond your own understanding. In His presence, you will find rest that you don’t find in seven hours of sleep every night. In His presence, you will have intimacy that you cannot find with anyone else. In His presence you will be complete.

He will not judge, He will not pin point, He will not ridicule, He will not laugh at you, He will not hurt, He will not show you a list of your mistakes, He will not look away or forget or ignore, He will not scream at you, He will not deny you.
All He wants, ever wanted was to love you and to show you how much He loves you and the good plans He has for you. So trust Him. He will not forsake you. I can guarantee this cause He is inside me and beside me pointing me in the direction to go. So just simply trust Him!

Live in fear and awe of Him. Love His commands for they are good and will help you to live a pure and fun life in a way you never imagined before possible.