Security in Familiarity...

I opened an old box of jewelry... stuff I promised myself I would never wear again!:)
But as I opened it... I smelled home.
Familiarity can do that. Your senses like smell, taste, even seeing something reminds you of a good time. Something that made you happy... like maybe your mum's hug or her smell or time with your mates or cousins. Times when you rode your tiny bicycle up and down the corridor of your apartment; Your first pet; Your first sleepover; Your first best friend; Your first barbie or your first action man (for the boys). Things that made you laugh or/and cry like your first crush, your classic April Fool's moment; tickle attacks.
And unfortunately sometimes things that hurt you once. Things that caused your heart to break; your life to feel empty; your body numb; and the sense of worthlessness and that you wouldn't bring happiness to anyone or love anyone or help anyone.
That was me a few years ago. My heart was broken. I felt so destroyed and so massively disappointed in myself. I felt I was a failure and would never accomplish anything.
As I looked into the box, I found a post-it note. It had someone's email and some random math. But on the back, in my hand writing it said, "You are Talented".
There was a period in my life when the devil knew he could say anything and I would believe it.
Those moments did hurt. But God spoke to me. In reassuring ways, He presented the truth to me. He told me who I was. And He reminded me through smell; through old post-it notes that He was still there. The One that brought life, love, security, freedom and much much more was still there and would always be there.
There is the concept that is taught of not letting familiarity cease you from worshipping. And sometimes you can get tired of that song they sing every day of the week for the next ten months in church. I find a lot of comfort in those songs that brought me to my knees in worship. Those lyrics that made me raise my hands in awe. That music that allowed my soul and my mind to join in unity with my spirit. I found my security in Him. It was the familiarity that allowed me to engage. His storm calming peace. His heart melting love. His concept of taking my burden. His words of truth that declare me righteous. His healing palm. His overflowing lap of love.
I have become familiar to that presence. To the healing presence of my Dad...
I could be, would be anyone and achieve anything there. I fit perfectly with Him.
Don't allow that familiarity to cease your worship. Instead let it flow more bountifully.

The caution sign.

"Caution: Do not cover" said my new twenty dollar fan heater. It is probably the best twenty dollars I have spent. I switched it on and got comfortable in my bed. My plan was to leave it running for ten minutes, switch it off and then go to sleep.
But the warmth was so incredible, in five minutes I probably looked like a blob in my bed. I woke up the next morning sweating. What scared me  was that my quilt had managed to get on top of the heater (I had placed it too close to my bed, so that my hand could reach it without me having to jump out of bed to turn it off). Within a second, i freaked and pulled the quilt off the heater cause I was reminded of what the caution sign had expressed.
Recently I pondered on this incident and felt God speaking to me through it....

Some of my friends prayed over me the other day and said "Sharon, God is waiting for you to jump. Don't you trust Him?" Honestly, I don't think I do. I want to, but it freaks me out. What if I get hurt again? And this time it would be God that hurt me, who would then mend my broken heart? I was tired of the excuses of life, family and friends. I didn't want to give 'all of me' to anyone cause then I was assured that I wouldn't be hurt. I would be okay. Just okay!
How annoying is that I would just be okay? What a mediocre way of living! I would never experience fully what God had planned for me. As I only gave a little part of me, I would only receive a little back.
It's like choosing a delicious slice of cheesecake at your favorite cafe. You would only get a little piece instead of a whole slice cause you chose not to pay the full price so as to receive that big delicious creamy slice of cheesecake. In all reality, you would get nothing. Feel like you're missing out? That is exactly what I had been doing to my relationships especially the one with God.
God then spoke to me and said I had placed that caution sign on myself. I didn't mind the few seconds of warmth but I was scared to go all in for God and spread the fire in me. The book of revelations was pretty clear when it said God couldn't be bothered by those that had warm faith. In other words, He said chose Me or this world. I rather you had an opinion, whether right or wrong than not have one at all. This indicated a state of confusion which is not from God and I couldn't represent Him with that character in me.

How much more can He give. He gave everything and we still ask for more?

It's time we took the caution sign off ourselves and said "Here I am, set me on fire for you and send me"

Questions I would then have to answer:

Do I let  the caution sign remain?

Do I want the whole slice of cheesecake?
Do I choose a few useless seconds of warmth in my relationship with God or go all in for Him?
Do i choose life to its max. or a mediocre "okay" life?

What do you choose?

You are by Tenth Avenue North

Lord of empty space
You breathe and then create
Before the earth was made
You are

The King of every age
Outside of time and space
The heavens speak Your name
You are

Lord of brilliant light
You separate the night
And everything inside
You are

The One who calms the seas
And every part of me
With just a word You speak
You are

I give You all of me for all You are
Here I am
Take me apart

Angels bowing down
Beneath the rushing sound
A voice that thunders out
You are

The one who holds the stars
And the beating of my heart
Exalted above all
You are

All I am I want to lay down at Your feet

"Unbreakable"- Fireflight

Where are the people that accused me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight
Can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable, it's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better

Forget the fear it's just a crutch
That tries to hold you back
And turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust

In His Presence:Part 4 (Ps 112): Generous Hearts

As you read Ps 112 a few times you will realize that it mentions gracious hearts and generosity all through out. I believe that the more time you spend in His presence, the more active you will be with your faith. If you aren’t active, then you have to think about it.
When He is inside you, He will live through you. The Holy Spirit is waiting to do amazing things through you. In His presence, you are brought to what His will is for you and what you can do for His people. God is about people like He is about you. So don’t think that it was or is only about you. Get out of that mindset and set your eyes on His will.
Ps 112,Vs 4 “Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for those who are gracious and compassionate and righteous.”
Even in circumstances, His light will shine through. There will be answers and solutions even when no one is standing by you. For those who are gracious, compassionate and righteous. Give, give with all your heart, Give from your heart. Don’t let anyone talk you in or out of giving. You need your own conviction about giving. And giving is about money, time, attention, prayer, love, hugs. These are few most important things people forget or don’t want to give anymore and it is the very thing that is causing a lot of the issues, confusion and so on in society.
I have seen the fruit of my giving and I have personally had a fight in myself about what I need to give and where I need to give and in what form I need to give. And continuously I would hear the Holy Spirit “be open to my counsel, be open to what I have to say and be obedient to what I ask you to do and you will see the fruit.” I have seen so many different blessings, in so many different shapes and forms. He will come through. He will bless. You just need to blindly trust!
“Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely”...blessings lie ahead of you for being obedient to Him and not giving because it will get you noticed or because you name is on that envelope or card. Lend freely. Encourage people, put a bible in someone’s hand, put a good worship CD in the hands of a teenager, put a laptop in the hands of a struggling student, put flowers in the hands of a widower, put a job in the hands of an unemployed, put meals in the hands of a crying father or a single mother, put a number of childcare and money in the hands of an exhausted parent. Good will come…
“…who conduct their affairs with justice”. I love this line because of how people including myself deal with circumstances. Being here in college has given me opportunities to learn from other people’s experiences and also to be a part of it and understand how to respond to different situations and while being very sensitive to what the Holy Spirit wants me to do and say.
Conduct your affairs, your circumstances, your issues with justice meaning impartiality, fairness, righteousness, evenhandedness, fair dealing, honesty, integrity etc.

Prayer:
Lord, put a fire in our bellies and a river in our mouths cause we are born to praise you and live You to and in this world. Father, bring us back to your presence again and again and again and use us for Your glory alone. Amen.

Can I have more of You?- Kim Walker, Here is my song

Verse 1:
I give up trying to earn Your love,
I just look above, up to You.
My desire is to see Your fire,
Growing even higher than before.

Bridge:
Because You are good, beyond measure,
My heart longs to give You pleasure.
You fulfill all my longing,
And all my life I will sing:

Chorus:
God I love You and all You do,
Your joy lives inside and does me good,
Can I have more of You?
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
Oh, my God, You never let me down,
Can I have more of You?

Verse 2:
God I need You right next to me,
For my heart to be satisfied.
I decide how I live my life,
I've made up my mind, I'm livin' for You.

In His Presence:Part 3 (Ps 112)

Psalms 112:3
“Wealth and riches are in their houses,
and their righteousness endures forever.”

So for all of ya’ll that think this is verse is all about money, you need to see things a little different. Wealth and riches indicate the fractions of culture, character like peace, joy, hope, holiness, purity and a prayerful home etc.
I don’t know if you have ever been to homes that are filled with peace and joy and you go there and you feel better. Your worst day starts to get better. A headache fades away. An argument finds it’s solution. A broken marriage can find restoration. Only a godly home can bring an atmosphere like that and a culture that is in a way healing to the soul. There was this once when I went to my cousin’s house and the little kid was playing and having the time of his life. I had a horrible headache but he wasn’t disturbing me at all cause five minutes of being in that house my headache disappeared. I realized it was the culture and character of the prayerful family that had made that home a healing one.
What sort of character you may ask. As the scripture says their righteousness. The robe of righteousness that He placed upon them. and you can see that through different scriptures like “the prayer of the righteous shall avail much. Me and my family shall serve the Lord. etc”
It takes courage to live the life my uncle and aunt live and you can see that in their beautiful, spirit filled kids. But that is what makes their home full of wealth and riches.
And along the side of money. Yes, God is a provider and he gives to those in need and those that ask. But a completely different answer lies for those that are just plain greedy.

Build character in your homes. Let your children see and become and love all that you as parents are. Fill your home with prayer and ask the Holy spirit to use you and your atmosphere to will uplift, restore and heal. In His presence and through His Holy Spirit, your homes will be filled withe wealth and riches that are available to everyone that comes in.
Spread the wealth and riches!

God's Kingdom culture Part 4:The Gift of discernment:Part 1

God's Kingdom is not filled with weak little kittens. Yes we are cute but not weak! We are soldiers. Vicious beings, lions of the kingdom that are being prepared to tear down walls and stand against the enemy's prowls. I wonder if you remember me talking about being peace makers. Yes, God has called us to be peace makers but He has also called us a Justice generation and we will stand up and fight for the weak, the abused, the mocked at, the hurt because we once were one of them but today are ready to bring upon this land what He has purposed for this land i.e. Justice.
No form or plan of the enemy will prevail. We have been given authority to stand and cast out in the name of Jesus.
When I was a baby in the Lord, I wondered why people talked about being violent in our faith. I was always the peace maker and would never confront anyone. I would simply have a conversation with them and solve the issue through very standard ordinary measures and methods.
Recently we had a situation where my housemates realized that there was the spirit of Jezebel operating in our house. Read 2 Kings 9-12 and study it to understand what the spirit of Jezebel looks like. We think that cause we live in this day and age; spiritual things are very awkward, unnecessary and a little useless to our generation. What we don't realize is that the end is coming and soon. The enemy is trying to fill hell with our kind. the human kind. the ones with souls. There is a constant warfare going on in the spiritual realms and we have to be sensitive to what The Holy Ghost is trying to do so we can bring home as many as possible. The spirit of Jezebel is cunning and manipulative. Lying consistently to your face with the mask of beautiful innocence, makes you look guilty and as the wrong one time and time again. It brings you to a place of depression and wants for you to feel incompetent and completely inadequate so that it can have that power and authority over you so that you will function as it gives orders.
THE BLOOD OF JESUS has covered us and released us from things like this. HIS NAME has healed and restored us to be able to recognize, stand up and fight for Justice because He paid a very painful and horrible price for this. It is now in our turn to receive it and walk in that victory.
It is just like being in court, you have your defense lawyer fighting for your freedom. The verdict is in, you won the case. But you realize that you still feel like you have to defend yourself cause you feel convicted of guilt. Convicted of something you didn't do or the fact that the price has already been paid for but you still are fighting a won battle. You may have walked out of that courtroom but you feel like you don't own your freedom cause in you mind you still feel guilty.
Another example could be about being in a relationship. The guy or girl, makes you feel unworthy, useless and with no value. He/ she gives no time of day for you when you are in a mess and is never around when you really need them. They lie to your face telling you of their lack of time and all the people that are counting on them to hang out with them. They will tell you that they will be there but when it is time and you really just need someone to talk to they won't be around. They will make you feel inadequate and incompetent. Sometimes they will use your conversation or any private feelings you disclosed to them in confidence against you, You feel like you need to now get attention and value from them to feel loved, comforted or for you make a move forward, a step upward in life. They are so smooth with their words, look completely innocent and make the situation look like they are the victim and that they need to held and cuddled when actually they manipulated and twisted the situation around to make you feel like you hurt them and you are completely to blame and is going to be in debt of doing whatever you can to "win" them back.
I know this cause I was in a relationship where I needed the family member to appreciate me and give me my value back. Wrong! no one other than God can give you that value. Cheapskates will always tell you that you are loser and steal you of your joy, love and give you in return misery, depression and so on.
The same thing happened with our housemate where that person lied, manipulated and always made us feel smaller in every situation. But then two people rose and God revealed to them. This person is my friend but the spirit that is operating behind this person is not my friend. That spirit is my enemy and I will not allow that to take over my life, my emotional status and my physical health. No. God's Kingdom is filled with mighty vicious beings who have the spirit of discernment, that can smell the enemy tricks and are armed and ready to fight and bring justice.
Spread the word and get prepared!

In His Presence:Part 2 (Ps 112)

Alright, I’m hoping that this will be a series that can be helpful to all generations.
But I want to talk to the young adults, the ones our previous generations call the “hormonal emo generation”. I, from personal experience know that we waver on whether we want to get married, want to have children, what sort of boys we as girls want and for the guys what you want in girls and have all these questions and doubts.

I made a decision a year ago since I was battling with it myself that I would know in time. There is no point of wasting our time thinking about these things if it is not time. I have met boys and girls that are desperate to find answers or find partners way before their time, get their heart broken a zillion times till they get fed up of what they think is right or who they see as the right person.
At the same time I have met couples that got married when they were 19 or 20 and love each other intimately. What I noticed about them is that they were really mature for their age and knew in their heart they would be fine.
My suggestion is wait and in time just as they knew you will.

God loves a pure heart and from there will come an opportunity to have a pure relationship. For some you get used to the idea of dating, it’s almost like a mundane thing while for others you lose respect for the opposite sex and your way of thinking is damaged because you have walked into relationships way too fast and for the wrong reasons.

In all honesty I love being single. I love that I have time to myself to find identity with God in me than a guy’s arms around me that came because of desperation.

So why does this all matter with this one verse. Today’s culture on dating, relationships and sex is perverted that’s why. I encourage you to find your identity first. It could mean growing up emotionally and spiritually and being complete in Him. For some it may mean something else that I don’t know of.

“Your children will be mighty in the land”. I hope and in a way declare my kids will be warriors for God. They will run the race God has asked them to run. Whether it be through ministry or through a standard office position they will fulfill all that God has in store for them.
I want my kids to be blessed and I want to see the result of my sowing in their lives and their kids lives. My sowing would be to live a life that is pure, holy and upright in the eyes of God. As scripture holds my kids will be blessed from it.

Stop living your life just for yourself and just for today. For the momentary pleasures or the temporary desperation relief that may lead to the birth of a precious child you won't be ready to handle and maybe make decisions not wise or correct. Live your lives for your future, your kids, your grand kids. I know there will be a big blessing in it.

Psalms 112:2 “Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.”

In His Presence:Part 1 (Ps 112)

This might look like a very awkward but fun series and it is probably because I am doing it! I wasn’t really planning on doing a study but while I was reading Psalms 112 I felt extremely blessed and encouraged. I will pick up verses that I found meaning, truth, personal and theological truth in. Hopefully it wont be too long and will be simple enough to understand.
My focus is His presence.

Psalms 112:1 (TNIV version)
Blessed are those who fear the LORD,
who find great delight in his commands.

Blessed are those who not “scared” of God but live in awe of His presence and love Him with all their heart.
Great delight in His commands…people that know and trust God to be there in times of trouble. Those that will not doubt but in crisis hold firm on His covenant of protection. You see on Mount Sinai God made a covenant with His people that He will protect them and they should obey and keep his covenant. In short that is what He said you can look at Exodus 19:3-6 to know what exactly The Wise Man Himself said.

Lets start our day and end our night knowing that God is completely Holy, completely pure, completely God and nothing that comes from His mouth can be false. Let’s trust Him a hundred percent in everything.

In His presence; you will find great joy and comfort. In His presence; you will find truth and revelation that will completely blow you away. In His presence; you will receive love that you can then impart into the world. In His presence; you will find peace that is so beyond your own understanding. In His presence, you will find rest that you don’t find in seven hours of sleep every night. In His presence, you will have intimacy that you cannot find with anyone else. In His presence you will be complete.

He will not judge, He will not pin point, He will not ridicule, He will not laugh at you, He will not hurt, He will not show you a list of your mistakes, He will not look away or forget or ignore, He will not scream at you, He will not deny you.
All He wants, ever wanted was to love you and to show you how much He loves you and the good plans He has for you. So trust Him. He will not forsake you. I can guarantee this cause He is inside me and beside me pointing me in the direction to go. So just simply trust Him!

Live in fear and awe of Him. Love His commands for they are good and will help you to live a pure and fun life in a way you never imagined before possible.

The Reason To Laugh. Love. Live

On Saturday Night I heard a message called "There's something about Mary". If ya'll know the movie I'll tell you straight up it doesn't relate to the movie at all. This is about the mary that sat at feet of Jesus.
There are three things that line up as the foundation of a hopeful and extraordinary life.
1. Laugh. It is a God-given blessing to laugh.
The Mary that sat at Jesus' feet, she had to get happy in Jesus. She knew no one could make her feel like He did. She knew her life would remain messed up if it wasn't for His grace and forgiveness. As she sat at His feet (which by the way only men were allowed to sit at the feet of someone to learn from. It was the posture of discipleship. She sat with guts and without fear cause she was accepted and loved by Jesus.) she became more whole and filled.
There was a time when I laughed to cover my shame, pain and guilt. I thought if I covered it up then people would accept me but if I told them I was hurting then they probably wouldn't want to be around me. I was wrong. I never felt more rejected, humiliated and alone. But then I found hope. I found the Joy of Jesus that filled me with genuine happiness that allowed me to live in freedom and enjoy life to the fullest. People think we need live life large by getting wasted. I am today full of the Holy Ghost and full of Jesus living life large and making a difference in the Church. It really doesn't get anymore fulfilling.
2. Love.
As Mary sat with Jesus she was continually being loved by Him. In His presence we are filled with His love to love the world. No one has the capability of loving everyone except Jesus. So when we have more of Him in us we can love those that have been cruel, rude or those that have abused us. It is a true blessing when we can break the chains of our past and love like Jesus did. I have been able to love and forgive a lot of people because of His love and because He helped me forgive and forget a whole lot of my past.
3. Live.
As Mary sat at Jesus' feet she was renewing her mind and soul. He was filling her with new life. New hope. New vision. Newness in everything to fulfill her destiny. Only Jesus can bring and give life. Eternal life. Only He can bring peace and restoration. Once we have this life, we will want to stop living for ourselves and live for others. We are full, complete and whole and want others to experience the good news the way we have.

The reason to laugh...To bring joy to others
The reason to love...To bring hope to others
The reason to live...To bring life to others

Fix your eyes upon Jesus. He will never fail, forsake, or forget you. He has a purpose and plan for everyone. If you feel lost with no destiny and no purpose, then sit at His feet. He will reveal His plan and purpose for you. He is faithful to come through. Be patient and in the mean time Laugh, Love, Live.

Spread the word!

I Will Be.

The Journey unfolds
His mysterious plans come forth
I am set in the palms of righteousness
To lead the way of kindness
To hold the hand of the broken
To stand in the gap for the hopeless
To laugh in the face of fear
To crush the lies of the mocker
To speak truth to the heart of the seeker

The Journey unfolds
His mysterious plans come forth
I am set in the path of righteousness
To walk humbly but in shrewdness
To take the lost towards the Shepherd
To protect those that are oppressed
To slaughter the views of the pervert
To liberate the hurt that hurt
To speak justice loud and clear


I will be...
what Jesus has been to me

Cover Me

Verse:
As a fort you stand boldly to cover me
When all were gone for good
Words of justice were left unsaid
Taking a part of me with each deceit

Pre-Chorus:
Now that the veil is torn
I can never forget
What you have restored

Chorus:
You made it disappear
The past of ruining sin
And all that appeared
Was the joy you placed inside
All creation glorifies
All creation stands in awe of You

Verse:
Your simplest answers
Give the brightest revelations
Of how you clearly called me worthy
When no one saw who I can be

I surrender by Kim Walker

Verse 1:
There is no love, sweeter than the love You pour on me.
There is no song, sweeter than the song You sing to me.
There is no place, that I would rather be,
Than here at Your feet, laying down everything.

Chorus:
All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.

Verse 2:
If worship's like perfume, I'll pour mine out on You.
For there is none as deserving of my love like You.
So take my hand and draw me into You,
I want to be swept away, lost in love for You.

Bridge 1:
I surrender...

Bridge 2:
No turning back, I've made up my mind,
I'm giving all of my life this time.

Bridge 3:
Your love makes it worth it,
Your love makes it worth it all,
Your love makes it worth it all.

Am I critical?

This morning we attended our very last chapel for this semester. Guessing that awesome things were going to happen, I went with expectation in my heart.
Being one of the behind the scenes' leader taught me to be a humble leader. I struggled with this in the beginning as I wanted people to know about my position and that I was there and they needed to acknowledge my presence.
Over the few months God kept poking into my business so that I wouldn't become proud and arrogant and often had to give me a little pinch or a big slap on the bum because I am so stubborn. He often helped me with words for an email, how to encourage someone and how to look beyond myself and see others from more of His perspective. It was a tough season and I learned that I had lot to learn.
In it all, He constantly told me to remain humble and keep submitting everything to Him cause He would be bless it, and show me the way.
After I met up with my team, I went in for the worship. It was this new guy leading worship, he usually does bass guitar but I guess they decided to change things around. I stood through the whole worship service astonished at the horrible quality of the worship team. I was criticizing everything and yes there were mistakes. The reason why I gave myself permission to criticize was because the worship team was filled with talented musicians and vocalists and there was no reason why the worship music should be so poor.
After chapel, I asked God to forgive me for how I dealt with this.
And He asked to look up the word 'humility' in the TNIV bible and I found these scriptures, that stood out strikingly...

Phil 2: 3,4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

James 3:13 "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom."

I apologized again to God and knew that I needed to humble myself. And He started revealing His word for me personally. He explained how being a "behind the scenes" leader would lead me to be a good leader on platform where people would notice me.
He told me how I had to criticize them not to tell them and make them feel bad or in particular to judge them but because I needed to understand and apply it in my future ministry and wherever He would place. I had to see it in a certain way so that I would be effective at where I will be placed. I had things to learn and He was teaching me.
He was allowing me to grow in wisdom and to act in humility when it would be my turn.
Being critical or giving criticism shouldn't always be seen as a negative thing. I think criticism makes us better at what we do, helps us to come up with new strategies, new ideas, new churches, youth groups, creative teams that will enhance our lives as Christians.
I believe God gave us a mind to be able to analyze and criticize so that we would be do better and so that we would be creative like Him and not be satisfied with where we are and what we have done.

Heart for the House

"The Love of God cannot be measured but can be demonstrated" - Biju Thampy (Founder of Vision Rescue), Hillsong Offering Testimony.
This is such an awesome thought and completely true statement!
We were in a class with Aran Puddle (a staff and worship pastor at Hillsong). He was saying how we are only capable of describing God metaphorically. When we say something like "let your glory be revealed like the light of the sun"it is a metaphor. We as humans have only human terms or metaphorical words that can describe God. I thought about this one congregational song we sing here at church and the line goes like this, "And His glory appears like the light from the sun".  I then had a conversation in my head. "If God created light and everything in this world then how can "His glory" be like the light from the sun... that makes no sense. That almost sounds like we are degrading God or undermining who He truly is. But then I understood what Aran Puddle was talking about. It is not wrong theology or a lack of creativity and truth in the songwriting. It is because we are only capable of metaphorically giving a small glimpse about His majesty and about His awesome, gorgeous, pure and beautiful character.
I think that is pretty cool that we at least have those metaphors and those words to sing than being completely wordless when we come to worship. What do you think?
So instead of measuring how much love can be in this song or this church, lets start demonstrating, shall we?
Let's not be critics but admirers and supporters of what The Church is doing and is capable of doing in Him, through Him, for Him!
Along the same lines, we need to be a reflection of His love for and to His kids, His church, His love, His bride!
We as His kids can demonstrate what is in His heart for His people. We can show what it is like to live in His will. In His love. In His joy. In His peace.
We can be the stepping stone, the stretched out hand, the rope, the pillar that others can hold onto.
I am so impacted by what Biju Thampy is doing in India to help the kids of the streets of Mumbai. He explained how these kids dream to be able to live in the slums someday because they live on the streets. He said and I'm sort of paraphrasing "Lets not get these kids to the slums but get the slums out of them." Their dream and expectation is to get to the slums. Why not help, educate and release them to be bigger than they ever expected or imagined?
We have the chance to be a part of young people's dreams and projects like this and I believe in it completely and its potential.
The way to do it is to get connected to your local church and be a part of their dream and vision to impact and change the world! And if you feel like your church can do more, then become a part of their team and create ideas on how to get the resources and how to go about doing what is in His heart and your heart for those souls out there.
If you want to be a part of Biju Thampy's vision for kids of Mumbai you can go to Vision Rescue's official page.
Spread the word!

Sweet sweet Sound by Sara Reeves

I am an instrument of the living God
My life a melody to His name
More than the songs I sing
Worship is everything
I live to glorify my King

Hear the song of my life
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound
I raise this anthem high
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound

Through all the mire and clay
You're washing me with grace
You carry me, oh Lord, through it all
So I will testify even in the fire
I live to praise my Savior

Let everything that has breath
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord
And all creation will sing Hallelujah

Hear the song of my life
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound
I raise this anthem high
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound

Complete me Lord

It's nearly 2 pm and I am sitting in class. I am in class but not here. I am in class but not listening. I am in class thinking about how I keep coming back to this. I am in class, with my class, with my friends but I am alone.
This day has its own story. The story of how I couldn't stop crying in the shower. The story where no amount of make-up would cover how I felt.
I couldn't stop thinking and going back to the time when I took walks with my granddad. How I walked with him for hours visiting all his friends that were old and always remained old. Of how he woke me up at 8 AM for breakfast and told me when to go to sleep. Every time I visited him during the holidays he always gave me gift. Most of the time they were bibles or daily breads and sometimes cash. I now understand why he told me to search for intimacy with God. He understood and thus he told us kids. He loved beyond measure, he cared like no other I knew. He helped the poor like I knew no one could.
I loved him but I never told him. I mean I told him but I didn't tell him like I meant it. And I regret it. I regret not going back there during my holidays. I regret not having done the things I wanted to do for him.
When he left, the moment he left, I felt a space... a gap inside me. It was during the women's conference 2009 and I was serving. I continued serving cause I didn't recognize what this feeling was. In the evening as my dad called and left a voice mail, I heard God say he's come home. I heard Him say that clearly but gently. And I responded by saying that I'll be okay. I talked to my dad and later my mum and continued serving at conference. I wanted to ignore, so I did. But it got harder, the happier the women got, the more suffocated I got. A few days into the conference I broke, I cried and I mourned my loss. But it wasn't over cause it was hard. Over time I deliberately took time off college. slept in, went out with friends to help get over it and sort of move on. It wasn't till two weeks ago that I felt happy, truly happy, full of joy again. Then came the absence details... you have missed way too many classes and it is your incompetence. I apologize for the extra work college has because of me. But I don't apologize for how I felt. I don't know a better way of dealing with it and so I can only do it the way I know and understand.
It's nearly 2 pm and I am sitting in class. I am in class but not here. I am in class but not listening. I am in class thinking about how I keep coming back to this. I am in class, with my class, with my friends but I am alone.

I am alone cause a part of me is gone and I need God to fill that space. I need Him to complete me. This person behind the desk didn't ask me why I missed so many classes. She gave me her frustration and I guess it is sort of frustrating and I apologize for that but don't apologize for the way I felt and now have come back to feeling.

So to those that are hurting or have lost, forgive those people behind the desk or behind the wheel of the public transport or behind the register of the supermarket. It's one of the most significant characteristics of God. Forgiveness. Forgive when it really hurts, when you are on your knees and completely alone. Forgive and forgive till all the hurt is out of your system and you will forget what they said to you or how they made you feel. Forgive cause you know He forgave you.
Their comments should not define you, your circumstances shouldn't either. Your tomorrow lies in your today.
With love I leave you this quote I made recently...
"It takes courage to forgive, it takes humilty to change, it takes love to silence hate. It was never but now defines...all I am and I should be."

Being Caught in the grace of God

Recently I heard a message by Carl Lentz. It was at a youth conference here and the message was maybe for about fifteen minutes. It was a powerful message for the kids aged between 10-15. He called the message "Being caught in the grace of God" using the verse from 2 corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."
Talk about the grace of God that is given so abundantly!
In my everyday things I have seen Him do amazing things. In the smallest, in the toughest, when an answer is still on it's way, when quick decisions need to be made; His presence was undeniably powerful and releasing.
As Carl spoke to these kids, I looked at the kids around me and you could see they understood, everything they felt inside made sense to them as He spoke truth to them.
I think most of the time,most of the kids are just scared to be themselves. To live out what they truly believe in. They scared of being mocked, of being harassed for their beliefs, of being looked at as stupid or know-nothings or low-souls. This is something that is contributed by society and their parents and unfortunately most of the time from their parents.
That is the culture I want to kill. I want to wipe out this ideology that stops or holds hostage or kidnaps kids from being themselves of being inventive, creative, innocent and loving all at the same time. They are so caught up in this culture of looking cool, saying the right things, looking hip and being street smart that all they are doing in reality is denying their calling, shutting down their heart's desires and negotiating with their life signature meaning something that defines them. It is then not unusual that these kids get into crime, drugs, alcohol and many end up in mafia groups, as homosexuals, in jail or dead and ultimately purposeless.

Parents an advice as a daughter would be don't down size your children. Don't shrink them to your beliefs and goals. Don't react when they do something wrong but respond. When you react, you react out of temper and all they have learned is to be scared or in future to become temperamental like you are. When you respond, you respond out of discipline, grace and love that they can see. They then will be able to trust you more than you can understand, thus making the relationship worth holding onto on their part.

Kids an advice as once a kid. Give your parents a break. They are trying the best they can. They sometimes react and treat you like they were treated as kids but it is a blessing and a true gift to be able to forgive them no matter the circumstance. Rebelling against them, raising your voice, pulling tantrums are going to add to their misconceived thinking about you. Talk to them in a normal tone of voice and articulate your problems so that they can understand why you feel the way you feel. If they don't respond the way you want them to. Then pray about it and maybe give them a letter or note or email or facebook or twitter them.

Being caught in the grace of God is about living in that grace and knowing that everyone has a right to speak out and live the way they truly feel and are called to.
My grace is sufficient for you... in everything His grace will take you through.
My power is made perfect in your weakness... in the troublesome times, in the lonely times, in the difficult times when you have no where to turn, He is waiting to talk to you. To explain to you how He is going to use you and fill you life with joy and purpose and help you fulfill your ultimate purpose... His glory.

Now its your turn...To be or not to be?

God's Kingdom culture Part 3

Along the lines of God's Kingdom Culture...
I have to say that I am very proud of a friend of mine, through the good and bad times she listens to the voice of God.
She was headed home after a long and wearing day of babysitting. As she drove along she was hit by a car. It took her a few minutes to put together that she had been hit. Slowly she got out of the car and checked the boot side. Minimal damage which is a completely God thing. She looked towards the car that had just hit her and was flabbergasted at the fact that the lady that had hit her hadn't even bothered to get out of the car. She walked towards the other car and knocked on the window. The lady rolled down the window. She had a cold face on and asked my friend if the car had damages. To which my friend said, not much but the point is that you hit my car and laughed in shock at the lady's behavior. The lady then burst into tears and explained what a rough day she had had.
My friend that was now running on adrenaline, but listening asked if she could pray for her. As she finished praying, the lady looked at her and said and I am paraphrasing "I sat in the car and said God if you are real,you have to show me. Life can't get any worse for me" and then she hit my friend's car. Talk about an awkward God moment.
My friend said "Now you know, do you wanna become a Christian?" and she said yes.
What I want to point out, out of this incident is two things. Obedience and surrender. On the other side of her obedience, there was a woman's broken heart waiting to be restored. On the other side of her surrender, she giving up her wants, was the new beginning for this lady.
On the other side of Jesus' obedience to His father was the salvation of the world.
Yet again we are brought back to my previous blog: self sacrificing attitude. God switched me on to help one life. God switched my friend on to bring salvation and comfort to another life. Imagine how many lives we can change if we all switched on or are listening to His beautiful spirit and quiet voice?

Spread the Kingdom culture!

God's Kingdom culture Part 2

I would love to talk about another aspect of God's kingdom culture.
We'll call it the self sacrificing attitude.
I woke up this morning with some insanely loud music coming from my living room. If you guys know me, then you know my housemates. It made me start of with a crappy attitude. I had a headache and all I wanted was some peace and quiet. I became so self consumed that all I could think about was what I was wearing, my hair, my make-up and myself. I had a pretty easy morning since all I had was an hour of chapel( we have worship and preaching like a normal service only its for the students in college). As I was worshipping I felt God asking me to surrender and as I did so, I felt His spirit refreshing my energy and my spirit... like a part of me was being renewed and washed.
The rest of my day was lazy and fun but it involved a lot of unnecessary noise and i kept asking people to shut up... literally!
The noise got louder and the crowd got bigger, till finally my friend invited me to go to Mars Hill Cafe with her. The crowd followed but they got more tired, which means they got more quiet, which obviously is a good thing.
After the hour of fun, laughter, crazy pictures, and winding down we headed back home.
We parked in my driveway, pulled our seats back and chatted. At this point it was just the two of us girls, which obviously means girl talk. I complained about my humanness and how pathetic I felt sometimes. How much I needed of this and that. How much more I could have. How I desired more love. I looked at her and said I know God has equipped me for much and I am headed that way but doesn't mean I'm not human and don't want other things, physical things, emotional things etc.
We chatted and departed since our beds were calling out to us. As I entered through my front door, I was told that one of my housemates was sick and having cramps. In short, the next two hours were filed with praying and calling different doctors to find the best way to resolve it.
I felt like the Holy Spirit was taking charge and was diverting our selfish minds to help others that need us and off the things off this world. It was an awesome moment of praying and seeing the miracle. The thing about God is He will Never... let me say it again... Never ever forsake us. For this woman who was sick, God had ordained perfect timing, the right people with the contacts and thinkers that will make wise and right decisions.
My heart was broken for what God wanted me to do. As we finished we felt her finding peace and rest and knew sleep would add to the good of what the Holy Spirit was doing.
I have a natural tendency to become the mother and boss of everybody... soon and very very soon people were heading to bed since it was nearly 12:30 in the morning or later. I was helping Grace, this lady's daughter to get ready for bed and I heard the lady again moan in pain. So I went to the room, switched on the light and helped her. For the next hour, I massaged her body till she told me she felt the strain and stress leave the muscles cause she was having cramps all over.
I sat beside her bed to begin and God suddenly spoke to me said, "David had a skill, him playing his instrument made the demons within the King leave him. You have the skill to massage (it's a natural talent in the family), now massage those ligaments or those muscles till the pain leaves. I asked Him to make me efficient and to give me strength to do it for however long it takes. I spoke in tongues and the Word of God and she started confessing with me and I could see on her face that the tension was being released. After about an hour, i just placed my hands around her leg and spoke rest to it. For about 20 minutes I sat still, and I felt her body rest and getting comfortable. The tighter her sleep got, the more peaceful I felt. I then walked out of the room and now at 2:40 in the morning, am just praising God for using me while overlooking my sin. It's like He switched me on. The real me. The caring, loving, independent and strong-willed and "whole" me.
Another aspect of God's culture is His self sacrificing attitude. I hope you have pictured Him already up there on that horrible cross bringing salvation to humanity. This revelation and incident has brought an immense amount of peace and joy to my spirit, body and soul.
God switched me on to help one life. Imagine how many lives we can change if we all switched on or are listening to His beautiful spirit?
Spread the Kingdom culture!

God's Kingdom culture

I was walking down the road towards the food court. My stomach was grumbling and crying for food. It was four in the afternoon and I hadn't bothered to feed it. A friend had joined me in the fifteen minute race between classes. As we walked down we talked about our last meeting and the moments that made our cheeks ache and eyes water. We were LOL'n ( the IM term for Laughing Out Loud). During the conversation, the question popped up so where exactly are you from? Are you from India or Middle East? Yes, well Indian from Abu Dhabi. She asked if I had my share of curry for the day. To which I nodded and gestured we are walking to the food court. hello! but i was gonna buy sushi. It's all still asian!

I have understood that we need not take small comments like that personally or think oh my word what a racist!
We all make fun of each others' cultures, habits, lifestyles, dressing etc. I want to build my generation to be light on the non-important things of life. I make fun of you, you are so welcome to make fun of me. There is obviously a difference between making fun or fooling around and bluntly trying to make the other person the smaller one in the conversation.

I love my Indian people and I love where I was born and brought up. I love both. I don't choose either because for me I see the people. For me its about the people. It's about their welfare and helping those that are in need.
I have never differentiated people according to where they are from because God never did it when he created us. He didn't create a certain kind for His glory and a certain kind to dishonor and abuse. We are all created for His glory and His purpose. He loves us. So I adapt the God culture. The culture of God to love and treat people the same and with value... that is my culture.

The God or kingdom culture is to invest into people and to raise them up. I am firm believer in people and I know that everyone out there has some sort of talent and is capable of a lot more than they are given credit for by other people or depending on how they rank themselves.

I love to see a company of people from different countries, different cultures, different lifestyles come together and love each other and invest into each others' lives. And you know what? I see it everyday at college.

Spread the Kingdom culture!

"I feel the decision in the air!"

I walked in and out the college office six times. It wasn't the first time i had walked around like that. Lately I have been indecisive. I've been fooling around cause I can't choose sides. I want to be at two places at once. I want to feel this and that. I want to read one and the other. Oh my word! even the smallest decisions like choosing a shampoo has become hard.
I don't really know why I was acting like this.
Probably because I had a lot on my mind. Probably because I wasn't sleeping enough. Maybe I didn't spend enough time in the word of God. Maybe its' the quiet time. Maybe I need to give myself a break. Maybe this probably that......
I finally pulled courage out of every bone in my body and walked into the college office. I asked the lady at the desk where to hand in my application, handed it in and walked out. It took forever to fill in and one second to hand in...I hope this is worth it.

It was done!
Often times when we are going to do something different, something new, something fresh we have these tingles, sending shivers down our spine, making the hair on the back of our head stand up, in our gut. We are often freaking out and can't find the courage within us to do it, cause it's too new,too out of the ordinary and certainly out of our hands. But with it also comes the excitement, the questions "what if this goes well?, what if I achieve what I always dreamed about?, what if I do it right this time?"
I knew I had jumped and hoped I would land in the right spot.

There are three things that helped me make and act upon that decision:
1. Prayer and confirmation. We don't need the pastors' to lay hands on us and prophesy over us for everything. We have the Holy Spirit that will help us discern whether or not it is right.
2. Going through the research and the paperwork will allow us to understand whether this is an option for our ministry or calling or college or work or whatever else concerns us.
3. Stepping out of the ordinary. My life has been way too ordinary for a long time. I have loved and lived as the people around me have. I have moved, walked, listened to the music that was a part of the everyday. But in the everyday I have to challenge myself in the little things, to make a drastic change, to dare to dream big.

Yes, the little things matter. It is those little things that define your everyday to extra-ordinary memories worth remembering 200 years after you are dead. Think about that one...
I have noticed that it is decision- making time for a lot of people including myself. Let me challenge you to make wise, different, God-centered, extremely-awkward decisions that will be new and will affect the church to grow and excel in the things of God.

I wanna be here now...

Yesterday

Recently I watched this South African movie called “Yesterday” with my housemates. It was the story of a girl named Yesterday who had AIDS and her last wish was to see her daughter make it into school. She struggled for days as she felt weak but had to continue to walk to the well and walk back with a heavy bottle of water and care the fields etc. To make it to the nearest clinic she had to walk with her daughter for two hours under the burning sun and wait for hours in line. The first few times she never made it to see the doctor cause of the queue. Once it was confirmed, she felt it best to keep it a secret as she knew what would happen to her if it was revealed. She eventually did see her baby girl make it to school but the journey was a struggle.
There was this part in the movie where she said to her only friend “It is my mind that has kept me well...till I see beauty (her daughter) make it into school”. Yes, your body can say “no”, your feelings can say “you’re not worth it or don’t feel like it” but your mind has the power to decide whether to keep going or not.
This girl's name may have been “Yesterday” and as mentioned in the movie; her dad gave her that name because he felt that the former days were better. But her mind hoped for the best for her future…for her little girl.
Your past can drive you to make wrong decisions, to give up, to wear physically what you feel emotionally. Your reactions to certain things will show people what you see yourself as.
Make the decision to be different to what your past calls you to be and others see you to be. No matter what the circumstance from the past has let you to be the way you are, you have the choice to walk away from it and live what you have dreamt yourself to be.
I was hurt and lonely for a long time but it is when I decided to make a difference in my life and acted on it that things actually started to change. It was gradual and very uncomfortable at times but there was this incredible peace about living in my destiny and knowing that God was present all the way through and that He would lead me. And He did.
Do you let your “yesterday” take over your future? Does it overpower your thoughts and tell you that your not worth it?
It’s time to step over your yesterday and know that the best is yet to come. Your latter days will be greater than your past!

Up your game

I fumbled and mumbled under my breath as I walked out of the college office. More work, more responsibilities, and more people to meet...how much more were they expecting me to give? This is so out of control. I kept walking as I had to return to library and work on the responsibilities thrown at me. But instead of walking through the doors of the library I walked straight past it towards the bench nearby. It was one of the quietest loveliest places in the college. There was such an amazing sense of peace there. I had never sat there before simply because I didn’t want to be seen alone. But I walked straight to it and sat down. Got out my journal and wrote these words “I don’t know what You are up to but I know You are behind this! I still know You care and are leading and preparing me for what You have prepared for me. I need Your wisdom. Come and reign like never before. Your name is engraved on my heart. Let me never doubt Your marvellous works but faithfully follow as You lead. Be ever-present.”
As I wrote down those words, I felt His peace come upon me and I felt Him say “Up your game. This is your time. Step Up.” As I packed up and walked towards the library, I knew I was done talking. I knew He had planned something big. It was worth all my time, effort and input. I realised that there was a Kingdom purpose to where He was leading me and as long as I'm in His will, all I would have to do is surrender and live out my call.
Up your game; whether you are in school or college or working. Up your game! We have lived for too long a very mediocre life and have invested nil into the lives of others. It comes with surrender and always going back to Him so that we can be and do more.
I am blessed to be in a place that will challenge me to be a better and more effective me. Don't waste your time thinking the day will come someday in the future or that you are late and have lost that opportunity. Today, right now as you read this you have the authority to make that decision. To open your bible and read it for the first time; to kneel down and ask God to lead you; to befriend the lonely kid in your school; to walk out of an abusive relationship; to say thank you or sorry to your parents. Maybe today you need to forgive someone for blabbering stuff about you or a best friend for not trusting you. It is today that you make that choice.
This is your time and you are worth God’s time.
Led to lead,