I surrender by Kim Walker

Verse 1:
There is no love, sweeter than the love You pour on me.
There is no song, sweeter than the song You sing to me.
There is no place, that I would rather be,
Than here at Your feet, laying down everything.

Chorus:
All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.

Verse 2:
If worship's like perfume, I'll pour mine out on You.
For there is none as deserving of my love like You.
So take my hand and draw me into You,
I want to be swept away, lost in love for You.

Bridge 1:
I surrender...

Bridge 2:
No turning back, I've made up my mind,
I'm giving all of my life this time.

Bridge 3:
Your love makes it worth it,
Your love makes it worth it all,
Your love makes it worth it all.

Am I critical?

This morning we attended our very last chapel for this semester. Guessing that awesome things were going to happen, I went with expectation in my heart.
Being one of the behind the scenes' leader taught me to be a humble leader. I struggled with this in the beginning as I wanted people to know about my position and that I was there and they needed to acknowledge my presence.
Over the few months God kept poking into my business so that I wouldn't become proud and arrogant and often had to give me a little pinch or a big slap on the bum because I am so stubborn. He often helped me with words for an email, how to encourage someone and how to look beyond myself and see others from more of His perspective. It was a tough season and I learned that I had lot to learn.
In it all, He constantly told me to remain humble and keep submitting everything to Him cause He would be bless it, and show me the way.
After I met up with my team, I went in for the worship. It was this new guy leading worship, he usually does bass guitar but I guess they decided to change things around. I stood through the whole worship service astonished at the horrible quality of the worship team. I was criticizing everything and yes there were mistakes. The reason why I gave myself permission to criticize was because the worship team was filled with talented musicians and vocalists and there was no reason why the worship music should be so poor.
After chapel, I asked God to forgive me for how I dealt with this.
And He asked to look up the word 'humility' in the TNIV bible and I found these scriptures, that stood out strikingly...

Phil 2: 3,4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

James 3:13 "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom."

I apologized again to God and knew that I needed to humble myself. And He started revealing His word for me personally. He explained how being a "behind the scenes" leader would lead me to be a good leader on platform where people would notice me.
He told me how I had to criticize them not to tell them and make them feel bad or in particular to judge them but because I needed to understand and apply it in my future ministry and wherever He would place. I had to see it in a certain way so that I would be effective at where I will be placed. I had things to learn and He was teaching me.
He was allowing me to grow in wisdom and to act in humility when it would be my turn.
Being critical or giving criticism shouldn't always be seen as a negative thing. I think criticism makes us better at what we do, helps us to come up with new strategies, new ideas, new churches, youth groups, creative teams that will enhance our lives as Christians.
I believe God gave us a mind to be able to analyze and criticize so that we would be do better and so that we would be creative like Him and not be satisfied with where we are and what we have done.

Heart for the House

"The Love of God cannot be measured but can be demonstrated" - Biju Thampy (Founder of Vision Rescue), Hillsong Offering Testimony.
This is such an awesome thought and completely true statement!
We were in a class with Aran Puddle (a staff and worship pastor at Hillsong). He was saying how we are only capable of describing God metaphorically. When we say something like "let your glory be revealed like the light of the sun"it is a metaphor. We as humans have only human terms or metaphorical words that can describe God. I thought about this one congregational song we sing here at church and the line goes like this, "And His glory appears like the light from the sun".  I then had a conversation in my head. "If God created light and everything in this world then how can "His glory" be like the light from the sun... that makes no sense. That almost sounds like we are degrading God or undermining who He truly is. But then I understood what Aran Puddle was talking about. It is not wrong theology or a lack of creativity and truth in the songwriting. It is because we are only capable of metaphorically giving a small glimpse about His majesty and about His awesome, gorgeous, pure and beautiful character.
I think that is pretty cool that we at least have those metaphors and those words to sing than being completely wordless when we come to worship. What do you think?
So instead of measuring how much love can be in this song or this church, lets start demonstrating, shall we?
Let's not be critics but admirers and supporters of what The Church is doing and is capable of doing in Him, through Him, for Him!
Along the same lines, we need to be a reflection of His love for and to His kids, His church, His love, His bride!
We as His kids can demonstrate what is in His heart for His people. We can show what it is like to live in His will. In His love. In His joy. In His peace.
We can be the stepping stone, the stretched out hand, the rope, the pillar that others can hold onto.
I am so impacted by what Biju Thampy is doing in India to help the kids of the streets of Mumbai. He explained how these kids dream to be able to live in the slums someday because they live on the streets. He said and I'm sort of paraphrasing "Lets not get these kids to the slums but get the slums out of them." Their dream and expectation is to get to the slums. Why not help, educate and release them to be bigger than they ever expected or imagined?
We have the chance to be a part of young people's dreams and projects like this and I believe in it completely and its potential.
The way to do it is to get connected to your local church and be a part of their dream and vision to impact and change the world! And if you feel like your church can do more, then become a part of their team and create ideas on how to get the resources and how to go about doing what is in His heart and your heart for those souls out there.
If you want to be a part of Biju Thampy's vision for kids of Mumbai you can go to Vision Rescue's official page.
Spread the word!

Sweet sweet Sound by Sara Reeves

I am an instrument of the living God
My life a melody to His name
More than the songs I sing
Worship is everything
I live to glorify my King

Hear the song of my life
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound
I raise this anthem high
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound

Through all the mire and clay
You're washing me with grace
You carry me, oh Lord, through it all
So I will testify even in the fire
I live to praise my Savior

Let everything that has breath
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord
And all creation will sing Hallelujah

Hear the song of my life
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound
I raise this anthem high
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound

Complete me Lord

It's nearly 2 pm and I am sitting in class. I am in class but not here. I am in class but not listening. I am in class thinking about how I keep coming back to this. I am in class, with my class, with my friends but I am alone.
This day has its own story. The story of how I couldn't stop crying in the shower. The story where no amount of make-up would cover how I felt.
I couldn't stop thinking and going back to the time when I took walks with my granddad. How I walked with him for hours visiting all his friends that were old and always remained old. Of how he woke me up at 8 AM for breakfast and told me when to go to sleep. Every time I visited him during the holidays he always gave me gift. Most of the time they were bibles or daily breads and sometimes cash. I now understand why he told me to search for intimacy with God. He understood and thus he told us kids. He loved beyond measure, he cared like no other I knew. He helped the poor like I knew no one could.
I loved him but I never told him. I mean I told him but I didn't tell him like I meant it. And I regret it. I regret not going back there during my holidays. I regret not having done the things I wanted to do for him.
When he left, the moment he left, I felt a space... a gap inside me. It was during the women's conference 2009 and I was serving. I continued serving cause I didn't recognize what this feeling was. In the evening as my dad called and left a voice mail, I heard God say he's come home. I heard Him say that clearly but gently. And I responded by saying that I'll be okay. I talked to my dad and later my mum and continued serving at conference. I wanted to ignore, so I did. But it got harder, the happier the women got, the more suffocated I got. A few days into the conference I broke, I cried and I mourned my loss. But it wasn't over cause it was hard. Over time I deliberately took time off college. slept in, went out with friends to help get over it and sort of move on. It wasn't till two weeks ago that I felt happy, truly happy, full of joy again. Then came the absence details... you have missed way too many classes and it is your incompetence. I apologize for the extra work college has because of me. But I don't apologize for how I felt. I don't know a better way of dealing with it and so I can only do it the way I know and understand.
It's nearly 2 pm and I am sitting in class. I am in class but not here. I am in class but not listening. I am in class thinking about how I keep coming back to this. I am in class, with my class, with my friends but I am alone.

I am alone cause a part of me is gone and I need God to fill that space. I need Him to complete me. This person behind the desk didn't ask me why I missed so many classes. She gave me her frustration and I guess it is sort of frustrating and I apologize for that but don't apologize for the way I felt and now have come back to feeling.

So to those that are hurting or have lost, forgive those people behind the desk or behind the wheel of the public transport or behind the register of the supermarket. It's one of the most significant characteristics of God. Forgiveness. Forgive when it really hurts, when you are on your knees and completely alone. Forgive and forgive till all the hurt is out of your system and you will forget what they said to you or how they made you feel. Forgive cause you know He forgave you.
Their comments should not define you, your circumstances shouldn't either. Your tomorrow lies in your today.
With love I leave you this quote I made recently...
"It takes courage to forgive, it takes humilty to change, it takes love to silence hate. It was never but now defines...all I am and I should be."

Being Caught in the grace of God

Recently I heard a message by Carl Lentz. It was at a youth conference here and the message was maybe for about fifteen minutes. It was a powerful message for the kids aged between 10-15. He called the message "Being caught in the grace of God" using the verse from 2 corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."
Talk about the grace of God that is given so abundantly!
In my everyday things I have seen Him do amazing things. In the smallest, in the toughest, when an answer is still on it's way, when quick decisions need to be made; His presence was undeniably powerful and releasing.
As Carl spoke to these kids, I looked at the kids around me and you could see they understood, everything they felt inside made sense to them as He spoke truth to them.
I think most of the time,most of the kids are just scared to be themselves. To live out what they truly believe in. They scared of being mocked, of being harassed for their beliefs, of being looked at as stupid or know-nothings or low-souls. This is something that is contributed by society and their parents and unfortunately most of the time from their parents.
That is the culture I want to kill. I want to wipe out this ideology that stops or holds hostage or kidnaps kids from being themselves of being inventive, creative, innocent and loving all at the same time. They are so caught up in this culture of looking cool, saying the right things, looking hip and being street smart that all they are doing in reality is denying their calling, shutting down their heart's desires and negotiating with their life signature meaning something that defines them. It is then not unusual that these kids get into crime, drugs, alcohol and many end up in mafia groups, as homosexuals, in jail or dead and ultimately purposeless.

Parents an advice as a daughter would be don't down size your children. Don't shrink them to your beliefs and goals. Don't react when they do something wrong but respond. When you react, you react out of temper and all they have learned is to be scared or in future to become temperamental like you are. When you respond, you respond out of discipline, grace and love that they can see. They then will be able to trust you more than you can understand, thus making the relationship worth holding onto on their part.

Kids an advice as once a kid. Give your parents a break. They are trying the best they can. They sometimes react and treat you like they were treated as kids but it is a blessing and a true gift to be able to forgive them no matter the circumstance. Rebelling against them, raising your voice, pulling tantrums are going to add to their misconceived thinking about you. Talk to them in a normal tone of voice and articulate your problems so that they can understand why you feel the way you feel. If they don't respond the way you want them to. Then pray about it and maybe give them a letter or note or email or facebook or twitter them.

Being caught in the grace of God is about living in that grace and knowing that everyone has a right to speak out and live the way they truly feel and are called to.
My grace is sufficient for you... in everything His grace will take you through.
My power is made perfect in your weakness... in the troublesome times, in the lonely times, in the difficult times when you have no where to turn, He is waiting to talk to you. To explain to you how He is going to use you and fill you life with joy and purpose and help you fulfill your ultimate purpose... His glory.

Now its your turn...To be or not to be?

God's Kingdom culture Part 3

Along the lines of God's Kingdom Culture...
I have to say that I am very proud of a friend of mine, through the good and bad times she listens to the voice of God.
She was headed home after a long and wearing day of babysitting. As she drove along she was hit by a car. It took her a few minutes to put together that she had been hit. Slowly she got out of the car and checked the boot side. Minimal damage which is a completely God thing. She looked towards the car that had just hit her and was flabbergasted at the fact that the lady that had hit her hadn't even bothered to get out of the car. She walked towards the other car and knocked on the window. The lady rolled down the window. She had a cold face on and asked my friend if the car had damages. To which my friend said, not much but the point is that you hit my car and laughed in shock at the lady's behavior. The lady then burst into tears and explained what a rough day she had had.
My friend that was now running on adrenaline, but listening asked if she could pray for her. As she finished praying, the lady looked at her and said and I am paraphrasing "I sat in the car and said God if you are real,you have to show me. Life can't get any worse for me" and then she hit my friend's car. Talk about an awkward God moment.
My friend said "Now you know, do you wanna become a Christian?" and she said yes.
What I want to point out, out of this incident is two things. Obedience and surrender. On the other side of her obedience, there was a woman's broken heart waiting to be restored. On the other side of her surrender, she giving up her wants, was the new beginning for this lady.
On the other side of Jesus' obedience to His father was the salvation of the world.
Yet again we are brought back to my previous blog: self sacrificing attitude. God switched me on to help one life. God switched my friend on to bring salvation and comfort to another life. Imagine how many lives we can change if we all switched on or are listening to His beautiful spirit and quiet voice?

Spread the Kingdom culture!

God's Kingdom culture Part 2

I would love to talk about another aspect of God's kingdom culture.
We'll call it the self sacrificing attitude.
I woke up this morning with some insanely loud music coming from my living room. If you guys know me, then you know my housemates. It made me start of with a crappy attitude. I had a headache and all I wanted was some peace and quiet. I became so self consumed that all I could think about was what I was wearing, my hair, my make-up and myself. I had a pretty easy morning since all I had was an hour of chapel( we have worship and preaching like a normal service only its for the students in college). As I was worshipping I felt God asking me to surrender and as I did so, I felt His spirit refreshing my energy and my spirit... like a part of me was being renewed and washed.
The rest of my day was lazy and fun but it involved a lot of unnecessary noise and i kept asking people to shut up... literally!
The noise got louder and the crowd got bigger, till finally my friend invited me to go to Mars Hill Cafe with her. The crowd followed but they got more tired, which means they got more quiet, which obviously is a good thing.
After the hour of fun, laughter, crazy pictures, and winding down we headed back home.
We parked in my driveway, pulled our seats back and chatted. At this point it was just the two of us girls, which obviously means girl talk. I complained about my humanness and how pathetic I felt sometimes. How much I needed of this and that. How much more I could have. How I desired more love. I looked at her and said I know God has equipped me for much and I am headed that way but doesn't mean I'm not human and don't want other things, physical things, emotional things etc.
We chatted and departed since our beds were calling out to us. As I entered through my front door, I was told that one of my housemates was sick and having cramps. In short, the next two hours were filed with praying and calling different doctors to find the best way to resolve it.
I felt like the Holy Spirit was taking charge and was diverting our selfish minds to help others that need us and off the things off this world. It was an awesome moment of praying and seeing the miracle. The thing about God is He will Never... let me say it again... Never ever forsake us. For this woman who was sick, God had ordained perfect timing, the right people with the contacts and thinkers that will make wise and right decisions.
My heart was broken for what God wanted me to do. As we finished we felt her finding peace and rest and knew sleep would add to the good of what the Holy Spirit was doing.
I have a natural tendency to become the mother and boss of everybody... soon and very very soon people were heading to bed since it was nearly 12:30 in the morning or later. I was helping Grace, this lady's daughter to get ready for bed and I heard the lady again moan in pain. So I went to the room, switched on the light and helped her. For the next hour, I massaged her body till she told me she felt the strain and stress leave the muscles cause she was having cramps all over.
I sat beside her bed to begin and God suddenly spoke to me said, "David had a skill, him playing his instrument made the demons within the King leave him. You have the skill to massage (it's a natural talent in the family), now massage those ligaments or those muscles till the pain leaves. I asked Him to make me efficient and to give me strength to do it for however long it takes. I spoke in tongues and the Word of God and she started confessing with me and I could see on her face that the tension was being released. After about an hour, i just placed my hands around her leg and spoke rest to it. For about 20 minutes I sat still, and I felt her body rest and getting comfortable. The tighter her sleep got, the more peaceful I felt. I then walked out of the room and now at 2:40 in the morning, am just praising God for using me while overlooking my sin. It's like He switched me on. The real me. The caring, loving, independent and strong-willed and "whole" me.
Another aspect of God's culture is His self sacrificing attitude. I hope you have pictured Him already up there on that horrible cross bringing salvation to humanity. This revelation and incident has brought an immense amount of peace and joy to my spirit, body and soul.
God switched me on to help one life. Imagine how many lives we can change if we all switched on or are listening to His beautiful spirit?
Spread the Kingdom culture!

God's Kingdom culture

I was walking down the road towards the food court. My stomach was grumbling and crying for food. It was four in the afternoon and I hadn't bothered to feed it. A friend had joined me in the fifteen minute race between classes. As we walked down we talked about our last meeting and the moments that made our cheeks ache and eyes water. We were LOL'n ( the IM term for Laughing Out Loud). During the conversation, the question popped up so where exactly are you from? Are you from India or Middle East? Yes, well Indian from Abu Dhabi. She asked if I had my share of curry for the day. To which I nodded and gestured we are walking to the food court. hello! but i was gonna buy sushi. It's all still asian!

I have understood that we need not take small comments like that personally or think oh my word what a racist!
We all make fun of each others' cultures, habits, lifestyles, dressing etc. I want to build my generation to be light on the non-important things of life. I make fun of you, you are so welcome to make fun of me. There is obviously a difference between making fun or fooling around and bluntly trying to make the other person the smaller one in the conversation.

I love my Indian people and I love where I was born and brought up. I love both. I don't choose either because for me I see the people. For me its about the people. It's about their welfare and helping those that are in need.
I have never differentiated people according to where they are from because God never did it when he created us. He didn't create a certain kind for His glory and a certain kind to dishonor and abuse. We are all created for His glory and His purpose. He loves us. So I adapt the God culture. The culture of God to love and treat people the same and with value... that is my culture.

The God or kingdom culture is to invest into people and to raise them up. I am firm believer in people and I know that everyone out there has some sort of talent and is capable of a lot more than they are given credit for by other people or depending on how they rank themselves.

I love to see a company of people from different countries, different cultures, different lifestyles come together and love each other and invest into each others' lives. And you know what? I see it everyday at college.

Spread the Kingdom culture!

"I feel the decision in the air!"

I walked in and out the college office six times. It wasn't the first time i had walked around like that. Lately I have been indecisive. I've been fooling around cause I can't choose sides. I want to be at two places at once. I want to feel this and that. I want to read one and the other. Oh my word! even the smallest decisions like choosing a shampoo has become hard.
I don't really know why I was acting like this.
Probably because I had a lot on my mind. Probably because I wasn't sleeping enough. Maybe I didn't spend enough time in the word of God. Maybe its' the quiet time. Maybe I need to give myself a break. Maybe this probably that......
I finally pulled courage out of every bone in my body and walked into the college office. I asked the lady at the desk where to hand in my application, handed it in and walked out. It took forever to fill in and one second to hand in...I hope this is worth it.

It was done!
Often times when we are going to do something different, something new, something fresh we have these tingles, sending shivers down our spine, making the hair on the back of our head stand up, in our gut. We are often freaking out and can't find the courage within us to do it, cause it's too new,too out of the ordinary and certainly out of our hands. But with it also comes the excitement, the questions "what if this goes well?, what if I achieve what I always dreamed about?, what if I do it right this time?"
I knew I had jumped and hoped I would land in the right spot.

There are three things that helped me make and act upon that decision:
1. Prayer and confirmation. We don't need the pastors' to lay hands on us and prophesy over us for everything. We have the Holy Spirit that will help us discern whether or not it is right.
2. Going through the research and the paperwork will allow us to understand whether this is an option for our ministry or calling or college or work or whatever else concerns us.
3. Stepping out of the ordinary. My life has been way too ordinary for a long time. I have loved and lived as the people around me have. I have moved, walked, listened to the music that was a part of the everyday. But in the everyday I have to challenge myself in the little things, to make a drastic change, to dare to dream big.

Yes, the little things matter. It is those little things that define your everyday to extra-ordinary memories worth remembering 200 years after you are dead. Think about that one...
I have noticed that it is decision- making time for a lot of people including myself. Let me challenge you to make wise, different, God-centered, extremely-awkward decisions that will be new and will affect the church to grow and excel in the things of God.